Sunday, November 22, 2020

November 22, 2020

Polarization and Reunification: a family story
by Shannon Bergman, ZHS member

In these polarized times, we've talked about the necessity of showing lovingkindness to all people, not only those we agree with -- even if we don't understand them. I thought I'd share some of the things I've learned through these last two election cycles. I am the only Democrat in my immediate family and our family actually has an unwritten agreement not to talk about politics at the dinner table. But here's what I've learned:

 1. My husband -- the Republican that voted for Trump twice (mostly due to the deregulation of the laws that restrict small businesses) -- and whose reduction in taxes has helped keep our family business alive). He is also the man who generated 10's if not 100's of thousands of dollars to pay for my daughter's uncovered medical expenses and never complained once about where the money was going even though Lilith is Gil's step-daughter and not even his blood. He is also the man who has held my hair back as I've gotten sick in the toilet after getting food poisoning.

2. My 101 year old grandmother is a staunch Republican -- mostly because she's been brainwashed by Fox news...but I have never met a woman more deserving of Sainthood in her true Christian beliefs to love and help others. She was the organist at her church for over 60 years before she had to quit in her 90's because she could no longer play. She also played at the retirement home in her town in what they called her weekly hymn sing and started "Kids Club" in her church where NO child was turned away for bad behavior. My grandmother was always there for me when my mother (because of her mental illness) could not be. She has been the strongest female role model in my life and had her Christianity was what was preached and lived by most Christians, I never would have questioned it or started seeking another religions/practices that better served my belief systems.

3. My grandmother's caretaker -- and one of the most staunch Republicans I know that I've sparred with a couple times, loves my grandmother so much that she has committed to stay with her until the very end. And even though my grandmother can't walk long distances anymore, Tammy takes my grandmother out on these beautiful drives seeing areas of Oregon that my grandmother has never seen and absolutely loves exploring.

4. My brother is a staunch Republican, who is best described as a 'don't fence me in' Republican, is also putting three stepsons through college and spending many, many weeks away from his wife to be able to afford it.

 5. My sister in law is a school teacher that works with handicapped children every day and is now struggling with how to teach these children she dearly loves online and holding down the household while my brother is away making money.

 I think it's when we start thinking of people as black and white and label them that we get in trouble. I think we all are a combination of bad and good, and if someone were to take my inventory, it would be a lot darker than any of my family members.  I think we have to hold dear and search for the humanity in all people instead of falling into judgement. I do not profess to be close to mastering that skill, but it helps to look at those closest to me and that I love dearly to see examples of people that can have different opinions than I do, but that are still good people.


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Our ZHS on-line schedule

  • Mondays: 7-8:30pm - zazen, short service, lecture/discussion
  • Tuesdays-Fridays: 5:30-6:10pm - zazen, offering of merit/bows
  • M-F: 7-7:30am - zazen
  • Saturdays: 8:00-10:15am - zazen, short service, tea, discussion/study
  • For more information:  www.zenheartsangha.org) 
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Special bows for today: 
  • Please offer bows for Ofelia Mendez, Lilliana Mendez-Soto's aunt who died from complications of COVID on 11/13/20
  • Please continue to offer bows in honor of:
    • Phyllis Merrill, Misha's mother, who died on 10/18/20
    • Charles Kennicott Leech, Nancy's father who died on 10/9/20
  • Please continue to offer bows of well-being for:   
    • Flip Dibner, who has been diagnosed with lymphoma of the central nervous system and will be undergoing chemotherapy
    • David Shaw, who suffered a stroke on 9/30/20
    • Rev. Les Kaye, Misha’s Zen teacher, who is recovering at home undergoing chemotherapy
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Wonderful links shared by sangha members and friends:
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