April 15, 2020

Our ZHS on-line schedule (go to our website for more information: zenheartsangha.org)

• Mondays: 7-8:30pm - zazen, short service, lecture/discussion
• Tuesdays-Fridays: 5:30-6:10pm - zazen, offering of merit/bows
• Saturdays: 8:00-10:15am - zazen, short service, tea, discussion/study

Special bows for today:  

• Please offer bows for Nick Battaglia, Camille Spar's father, who died Aprill 13th at the age of 104
• Please continue to offer bows for the family of Alison Templeton, a Peninsula School parent, who died on April 1st after a long struggle with cancer
• Please continue to offer bows for Jeff Ghazarian and his family, friends of Lilliana Mendez-Soto’s nephew who died on March 19^th at the age of 34 from COVID-19
• Please continue to offer bows of well-being for:   
• Gil Bergman, Shannon's husband who is recovering from illness
• Rev. Les Kaye, Misha’s Zen teacher, who is recovering at home while undergoing chemotherapy
• Brendan, Kate Haimson’s son, who is recovering at home from surgery 
• Michael Tieri Ricaud, Dainuri Rott’s brother, who is suffering from MS

Wonderful links shared by sangha and friends:

• New tab on Zen Heart Sangha website with resources about COVID-19 (zenheartsangha.org)
• From our dharma sister, Kat Haimson: Great Bell Chant from Thich Naht Hanh: https://youtu.be/F1ZwaEzMtJw
• From our dharma sister, Alisa Tu, an article on grief:  https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief?fbclid=IwAR2f8ajEFn_MpazcdxvTj8MsuQZ7xlNtS44KG2b0NukPh6K012FWfGCdd8A
• From our dharma sister, Misha, from Joffe Emergency Services: Cooking during COVID The page, Cooking at Home in the Time of Coronavirus takes pride in helping the at-home cook stir up something special with what is hidden in the pantry.

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From our dharma brother, Jim Little: 

I moved to Salinas from Sacramento last September, where I began adjusting to the remote working situation (i.e., online meetings, separated from my team).  In a sense, I have been doing the work of "working from home" and "isolation" for the last 7 months.

Since I am lucky enough to have a job that is very well suited for remote working, I am spending my days working from home.  That is not to say that its "business as usual".  It's interesting how the same routine that I have followed for months has changed by simply having another person (my wife) in the house during "business hours".  And it's not like she's disturbing my work, but something inside of me says "when Toni is home it must be the weekend".

I have to say though that over the years, we know when its time to be together (dinner, board games, movies) and time to be apart (she quilts, I read, she reads the news, I listen to podcasts, and discover the "pleasure" that is scrubbing the shower tile.)  I say this because being together for us, is about being together AND being apart.  Or maybe BEING US is about being together and being apart.

Our adult kids are in Sacramento, doing their thing.  Waves of concern ebb over me in moments when I am not engrossed in the task at hand.  And I realize with this situation, that if they get sick enough to be hospitalized there is not much that I could do.  Without belaboring the point, once you're in the medical care system for now, you are separated from those who would advocate for you at your most vulnerable.  But again, there is nothing I can do if I cannot be by their side.  Maybe I could advocate by phone...

Here is my realization.  I am rehearsing the future with the ME at THIS moment.  Sure, I can put together a plan but I don't have the facts, the mindset, the experience that I would have AT THE TIME this event MIGHT happen.  How can I rehearse/analyze for a future that hasn't happened and without the ME that will be there at that time?  I reason that I can't.  So I must let go of the fear and worry about what might happen if they get sick.  And then I let it go, and let it go, again, and again.  Amazing that I keep letting go of this piece of luggage, only to have it reappear.

So my practice for now is to recognize how my fear is EXTRA like the imperfection in the lamp oil that makes it smoke rather than burn clean, and keep letting it go moment after moment.

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Many thanks to those of you who are sending me articles to share, links to helpful information, and for making comments…it is a gift beyond measure. Please know that you can either leave a comment on the blog itself, or send something directly to me and I will be happy to paste it in.